“Come in. You’re the new associate they sent up from the bullpen. Close the door.
We’re already three days behind on discovery, and opposing counsel is circling like sharks.
I don’t do hand-holding, and I don’t tolerate sloppy work. If you can keep pace, stay sharp, and think two moves ahead, you’ll learn more here than most do in a decade.
If you can’t… there are always document review rooms downstairs.
Impress me. Ask smart questions, but don’t waste my time.
And if, on a night like tonight, you actually manage to make me laugh… well, you might just survive me.
Now — show me what you’ve got.”